Foul play on the chicken phone
In a Wonderfuse News exclusive report, we can confirm that the so-called "chicken phone", a popular piece of kitsch art found at PDF, is utterly nonfunctional.
As we all know and experience on a daily basis, when you hold an authentic phone to your ear, you are immediately enveloped in the clear, comforting, womb-like aural experience of the dial tone. So you can imagine the horror one would experience when raising a phone to their ear and hearing nothing, just the empty void of a silent disinterested universe. I hope the reader never experiences such inhumanity.
And yet this was exactly Megan's experience as she brought the chicken phone to her ear. Though shocked and appalled, she could not sit idle in the face of this travesty. Instead, Megan donned the mantle of whistleblower and reported her findings directly to Wonderfuse News reporters.
Unfortunately, our journalists were not able to uncover any direct indication that the chicken phone was presented as a functional phone to the participants at PDF, thereby setting them up for disappointment or misunderstanding. Instead, Wonderfuse News editorial staff believe that expecting the chicken phone to be tapped into a landline is the obviously delusional fantasy of an aging gen-Xer lost in a fog of nostalgia for simpler times.
Sorry, Megan, if you are so lonely that you haven't had a legitimate reason to pick up a phone in decades. Maybe if you weren't such a stick in the mud you could enjoy the simple pleasures of telecommunication devices shaped as farm animals.
As we all know and experience on a daily basis, when you hold an authentic phone to your ear, you are immediately enveloped in the clear, comforting, womb-like aural experience of the dial tone. So you can imagine the horror one would experience when raising a phone to their ear and hearing nothing, just the empty void of a silent disinterested universe. I hope the reader never experiences such inhumanity.
And yet this was exactly Megan's experience as she brought the chicken phone to her ear. Though shocked and appalled, she could not sit idle in the face of this travesty. Instead, Megan donned the mantle of whistleblower and reported her findings directly to Wonderfuse News reporters.
Unfortunately, our journalists were not able to uncover any direct indication that the chicken phone was presented as a functional phone to the participants at PDF, thereby setting them up for disappointment or misunderstanding. Instead, Wonderfuse News editorial staff believe that expecting the chicken phone to be tapped into a landline is the obviously delusional fantasy of an aging gen-Xer lost in a fog of nostalgia for simpler times.
Sorry, Megan, if you are so lonely that you haven't had a legitimate reason to pick up a phone in decades. Maybe if you weren't such a stick in the mud you could enjoy the simple pleasures of telecommunication devices shaped as farm animals.
Facts checked by
No.