Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Wonderfuse News


If it Beads, it Leads


Corruption! Local News Agency Absolutely Rife With It!
Photo credit: This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It

Corruption! Local News Agency Absolutely Rife With It!

Note to our readers: this story has been edited for typos and inaccuracies and Wonderfuse News denies charges of wrong doing.

Breaking Story! Wonderfuse, the parent org of this very rag, is rotten to its very core.

This reporter went undercover to uproot the relevant information, immediately being put through a dehumanizing hazing ritual where they were told "Bylines are your value to society" before being waterboarded with what felt like a cascade of various shaped beads.

The Editors in Bead are known to use children as their primary fact checking source. When asked about this one simply said "I support child labor, that is off the record."

It's amazing that the Editors in Bead have been able to keep this operation running. They appear to not be able to operate their own systems, and their camera might as well be paper mache for how well it handles in the field.

When asked the question on everyone's mind, " What is wrong with you?", the Editors in Bead gave no comment.