Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Wonderfuse News


If it Beads, it Leads


Fastest Pony in the East!
Photo credit: This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It

Fastest Pony in the East!

The results are in!

Wheelie Dan (the horse with wheels for legs) has been declared The Fastest Pony In Town, beating out all other equestrian contenders. Wheelie Dan's beaming parent, Captain ACAB, shared that "of course the wheels helped, but what really got my child winning was his cando attitude, I'm just so so proud."

Other horses made a great show, but even the second best was tripping on their own hooves (of which they had entirely too many). It just goes to show that no legs is better than 8.