CORRECTION: Goose Poop Spotted at Figment
Early Saturday morning, Wonderfuse News received multiple credible reports of goose poop sitings around Sylvester Baxter Riverfront Park in Somerville, Massachusetts during the annual Figment participatory arts festival. Pete, the art curation lead, on behalf of the organizers, claimed there is actually less duck poop then there was yesterday, suggesting something may be eating it.
Others, many of them skeptical of this claim, are wondering what the ducks are eating.
Others, many of them skeptical of this claim, are wondering what the ducks are eating.
Pursuing the goose poop beat with ebullient curiosity, this intrepid reported sought the truth. Kyle, an orange-shirt clad volunteer familiar with the matter said, “It just seems to pile up.” When asked for comment on, lead volunteer coordinator, Boston Potato Famine, suggested addressing the problem by copying the strategies of Mayor Zohran Mamdani of New York, because he would probably care about the workers. There was no attempt to reach the mayor for comment, though if the mayor is reading, we will gladly publish your tips.
Please stay tuned for the latest on this breaking story as we uncover the mystery of goose poop in the park this beautiful Saturday.
Dear reader, an earlier edition of this article mistakenly identified the poop as belonging to ducks, as they were wandering around. Stay tuned for all the views of the poos.
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Quotes confirmed by
Hiplomat.