Forty-six ponies were set ablaze last night in what Tacoma Dan described as "the most concentrated pony burn in PDF history".
As the main effigy, Beast of Burden, burned defiantly through the rainy, muddy, kerosene soaked night, the uniformed firefolk tossed a stream of other large wooden horsen figures into a blaze that one witness described as a "questionable conflagration."
One of these figures, the Mini-Meta-Pony, itself contained 43 smaller effigies of ponies, representing each PDF burn to date. The addition of a large wooden rocking horse at the end, aligned nose-to-ass with the other ponies, completed the ensemble. As the Mini-Meta-Pony's designer Meta explained, "1+(43+1)+1 = 46". Wonderfuse fact checkers have independently confirmed these claims.
While the crowd was heard to chant "in the ass", fire safety insider Tacoma Dan told Wonderfuse News reporters that the crowd chanting had no impact on their operation. Dan explained that they were just making sure the ponies burned, and any appearance of suggestive choreography was coincidental.
"It was more exhausting than we were expecting," Tacoma Dan said. "The horse danced around, but it became less prancy towards the end."
When asked if it as possible to burn more ponies at a single event, Tacoma Dan said it was possible "in theory", but refused to speculate further.
Stay tuned to Wonderfuse News for the latest!
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
Tim
Hecklelalia's Cuck Chair: Controversy? Or Community
By
Tim, B
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May 24, 2026 at 12:45 p.m.
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It all started with a viral social media post prior to the start of the event, when Aye posted to the Playa Del Fuego Facebook group. “Don’t forget to pack the cuck chair for your tent.” The post took off with over 70 comments as of this writing, and triggered a series of posts. Wonderfuse News got inundated with tips about this story, with some tips and rumors so outlandish and scandalous we dare not print it here, but one tipster, fellow veteran burner Charlie Ringer, agreed to go on record and said “Hecklelalia is an anonymous camp of noisemakers.”
The social media post also set off rival Cuck Chairs at other camps. A scarcity of cuck chairs quickly turned into an abundance of cuck chairs.
We had so many questions. What is the meaning of this? How did this begin? What is going on here? Can any chair be a cuck chair? What the hell is actually happening inside this tent? We had to find the signal through the noise, so we went to the source. It did not disappoint. At Camp Hecklevalia, you always have to enter through the back door.
Hecklevalia’s unique artistic vision started the way all great artistic endeavors begin, with a poignant question that gets to the heart of the human experience: How many cuck chairs can I fit in this tent?” asked Aye. At Hecklelalia, all questions, however silly, are sacred. Within hours, the campers had assembled a number of chairs.
But the movement soon outgrew irony. The campers clarified that their use of “cuck” was not the cheap internet insult thrown around by men with podcast microphones and unresolved feelings about women. No, Hecklelalia sought something nobler, and welcomes a movement long overdue: “Justice for Cucks.”
“We are all significant to each other,” Clarissa said. Nichole added, “These chairs have seen a lot of action.” Vicky thoughtfully added, “I feel that cuck should be an inclusive term in 2026.”
Perhaps this is why the image of the ‘Cuck Chair’ resonated with so many. Many of us go through the default world living life at an emotional distance, and we have periods of life when we are emotionally seated while others are experience life more fully. At a festival dedicated to communal living, sharing, acceptance, participation, inclusivity and immediacy among other principles, perhaps the cuck chair was much much more than we initially understood. With the help of the unique intimate insights afforded us with artistic rather than emotional distance, the cuck chair feels less like a joke, and more like a poignant metaphor.
Reporting for Wonderfuse News, Good luck and good cuck.
Facts checked by
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Quotes confirmed by
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Photo credit:
Tim
Muditation on Puddles
By
Hiplomat
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May 24, 2026 at 12:30 p.m.
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A puddle is a pool of water on the ground.
A cuddle puddle is a group hug in a pool.
Don’t be befuddled, A cuddle puddle puddle is a wet huddle in muddle of a puddle.
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Quotes confirmed by
Hiplomat.
Photo credit:
Wax
Otter, of Camp Clusterfluff, has brought his IT-based interactive art to the playa. Using only Ethernet cables, knowledge of memes, and the printed manual, participants can control lights, sound, and the ability for anyone in the vicinity to use WiFi of any kind. Otter says the puzzle is “easily solved if you know your meme numbers” but it’s fun to play with no matter what.
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Quotes confirmed by
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It.
Photo credit:
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It
Corruption! Local News Agency Absolutely Rife With It!
By
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It
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May 24, 2026 at 10:40 a.m.
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Note to our readers: this story has been edited for typos and inaccuracies and Wonderfuse News denies charges of wrong doing.
Breaking Story! Wonderfuse, the parent org of this very rag, is rotten to its very core.
This reporter went undercover to uproot the relevant information, immediately being put through a dehumanizing hazing ritual where they were told "Bylines are your value to society" before being waterboarded with what felt like a cascade of various shaped beads.
The Editors in Bead are known to use children as their primary fact checking source. When asked about this one simply said "I support child labor, that is off the record."
It's amazing that the Editors in Bead have been able to keep this operation running. They appear to not be able to operate their own systems, and their camera might as well be paper mache for how well it handles in the field.
When asked the question on everyone's mind, " What is wrong with you?", the Editors in Bead gave no comment.
PDFer John Cooper directly compensated Wonderfuse News reporters to review his board game, The Gang. The reporters, who received signed copies of the game and hung out with John Cooper for a bit, described the game designer as "super cool" and "a legend".
According to those reporters, the game involves working together to rank poker hands. One PDFer playing the game, but who asked to remain anonymous out of a fear for their lives, told Wonderfuse News reporters that the game "really makes you think". Another anonymous PDFer who did not play The Gang was quoted as saying "I dunno, sounds like a mid ripoff of Balatro. Whatever".
Yet another anonymous PDFer who was nearby when the game was happening, but with unclear control of their faculties at the time, was overhear to say "A mind-expanding game pause [sic] of tantric pause [sic] social pause [sic] consciousness." [Sick - Eds]
John Cooper, who paid reporters for this "favorable" review, added "thank you for playing my game".
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
Hiplomat
Intrepid Wonderfuse News reporters have secured exclusive access to a puzzle from the infamous Puzzle Pirate of the Electroknights. According to inside sources, anyone who can solve this puzzle will learn the secret code to their treasure. Wonderfuse News reporters can confirm that the treasure is pretty sweet.
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
Tim
Couple celebrates 3-year anniversary on playa
By
Snaps and Tim
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May 23, 2026 at 12:39 p.m.
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"My husband and I met at the Burn and have not been able to celebrate our marriage with our Burn family," Kat M. posted in the PDF Rideshare facebook page asking if anyone had a ticket to sell.
It just so happens, Wonderfuse News had a spare ticket available, and answered the call. When asked about their story, Kat M. told the Wonderliner:
Q (T-Bone McGillicutty). How did you meet?
Kat: "so we met at the Big Burn in 2018. Our tents were next to each other. This was also my first Burn. While walking up to set up our tent (I was there with my ex) I saw a very attractive man. Through out the burn we went on some group adventures. It wasn’t until break down that we had a “getting to know you” convo. Like, where are you from etc. I thought he was from LA because my camp is pretty much all west coasters (swing city) it a Acro based theme camp. I learned that not only was he currently living (no joke) 5 mins away from me in Arlington va. 🤯🤯
Q: What happened next?
Kat: When we got back we started to spend time together. We went back in 2019 and then in 2022. He proposed to me on the Playa, to which I replied 'is this really happening???' lol"
Kat continued: "We had to make a choice for 2023, get married or go back to the burn. We got married. We missed 24/25 and maybe even this year. Life started lifing and we had to put on your big girl and boy pants on. We couldn’t afford to even do regions. Our plan had been to have a celebration on Playa 2024."
Q: What changed this year?
KAT: "We have been wanting to go to PDF for years. And this year our best friend and her daughter (my god daughter) have an installation! There are other burn family there as well. So with the help of generous folks, we will be able to celebrate our love and the love we have for the Burn! Playa provides! ❤️"
Facts checked by
Hardhat.
Photo credit:
G'dammit Jobson
Breaking news: Not so hostile takeover
By
Snaps and Tim
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May 23, 2026 at 12:32 p.m.
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Retired Ranger Snaps and Tim here with a breaking news story: Camp Fourgoldenfingers is staging a not very hostile takeover of Camp Clusterphuck, and the war is going as follows:
Clusterphuck’s guardian, Ammy has abandoned the camp to pursue loving on at home cats, leaving them vulnerable. Sources tell Wonderfuse reporters.
So they have obviously enlisted mice.
In response, 4GF enlisted the giant local wood spiders. Obviously.
Megaman then called in the HEAVY mice (the light ones were sleeping) but, at latest check, the giant wood spiders are local rural Pennsylvanians and come armed.
We asked the local woodspiders what they had to say about this matter. They were quick to quote Shrek by saying "What are you doing in my swamp!?" but not due to the kerfuffle... They just really love the movie and wanted to celebrate it turning 25 this year.
What a great show of immediacy.
Sources now tell us the mice have not let the Shrek quotes deter them. "The information is still a little vague, but it looks like there's some sort of web page has been setup, maybe by the mice..." https://1tn.org/mh
The photo provided shows a block of cheese on the path welcoming burners. G'dammit Jobson went on record saying "OMFG you won't believe this level of cover up"
And many wonder if the BOD is involved.
Well there ya have it folxs, stay tuned to Wonderfuse News for more developments on this story.
When we know, you know. Ya know?
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Quotes confirmed by
Hiplomat.
Photo credit:
Codak (Jeff stoltzfus)
Wild SPAM found growing in open camping
By
ShellBell
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May 23, 2026 at 12:30 p.m.
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Wild SPAM found growing in the forests of open camping today following Coal Creek’s mysteriously frequent rains. Chef and culinary visionary Atom Splambert plans to take advantage of this totally organic and locally sourced harvest. [Wondferfuse has not confirmed the local source claim.]
“I’ve been marinading the SPAM to add a bit of Glam to it. Rain or shine, I’ll be cooking it in a very unique out of the can way,” says the chef.
Rumor has it there’s a blowtorch involved.
Be the lookout for this delicacy from Chef Splambert’s roaming mobile kitchen on Sunday 1:00-3:00pm. Supplies limited by SPAM yields and the unpredictability of the harvest moon.
Or forage your own from the forest by open camping. Story by shellBell
Facts checked by
Hardhat.
Quotes confirmed by
Hardhat.
