By
Hiplomat
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May 25, 2026 at 8:54 a.m.
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Permalink
Long-time, Tamaqua-based pillars of the community, Guy Chris and Jayde Raven, celebrated their 14-year relationship with what one participant described as a “ham fastening” ceremony in front of their closest friends and fellow PDF organizers.
Though participants had to wait an hour for the ceremony to start due to rings somehow being left in town, some remarked it was the most organized the organizers have ever been. Karnak wore fluorescent pink lingerie as a pocket square. Wax delivered a speech in a reflective jumpsuit, pausing for laughs after asking the audience to reflect—objectively a 10 of 10 dad pun—and several chuckled.
The reporters wondered whether the ceremony was binding the couple to each other, or their community. Fiona, Whatever and Wax wrapped purple chords, elegantly coordinated the purple dress worn by Jayde Javen and complimenting the socks sported by Guy Chris.
When asked for comment on whether they had cold feet leading up to the ceremony, they both replied, “No!” and confirmed they were wearing appropriate footwear. The reception will be held at 6 PM at camp 4GoldenFingers.
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Photo credit:
Hiplomat
Karnak Declared Institutional Treasure
By
Hiplomat
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May 25, 2026 at 8:53 a.m.
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Permalink
Ever wonder why everyone makes fun of Karnak? Wonderfuse News stood up for an intimate interview with Karnak to understand why. Karnak revealed that the Fire Pony Creative Society has sanctioned making fun him as a tool to avoid accountability.
He mentioned that the rules of the PDF Facebook group explicitly call out his lack of trustworthiness and blaming him is a practice embedded firmly in the bureaucratic machinations of the organization.
When asked if the constant harassment hurt his feelings, Karnak said, “I don’t care.” He also said, “I am the most serious person on playa,” however Wonderfuse News could not confirm the veracity of this claim after receiving multiple ambiguous responses from his colleagues. In reality, Karnak plays an extremely integral role in the community, as his shenanigans sew doubt and confusion so that blaming him is more of a therapeutic practice that renders other’s mistakes invisible.
So next time you make fun of Karnak, remember he is a serious person inside, and bears the emotional labor of being a community scapegoat pony.
Note to readers: if any of the claims in this article are incorrect, please blame Karnak, PDF institutional treasure.
Facts checked by
Hiplomat.
Quotes confirmed by
Hiplomat.
Photo credit:
Yeah we know this wasn't the temple. Sue us, Quentin. We dare you.
As diligent Wonderfuse News and One-Ply readers will undoubtedly know, the highest-ever concentration of burned pony effigies at PDF occurred on Saturday night, when a total of 46 pony effigies were burned, including the infamous Mini-Meta-Pony, which itself included 43 pony effigies.
Some observant readers have noted that the temple effigy itself, titled The Unbridled Circle of Life, contained many pony effigies as decorations around the beautiful structure. But how many ponies would burn with the temple? Wonderfuse News sent its crack team of reporters to find out.
We enlisted the assistance of two nearby PDF participants, Tempissed and Draft Punk, who together counted each pony effigy on the temple structure as they waited (and waited) for the wedding ceremony to begin. When our counts and recounts kept returning inconsistent numbers, we realized there was a fundamental ambiguity in the question that required metaphysical reflection.
You see, dear reader, while the temple effigy indeed contained many pony representations, only some of them were actual wooden structures symbolizing ponies. By our count there were 29 such pony effigies on the structure. However there were also several instances of horse cut-outs, or what our fact-checkers came to call "negative ponies", where the pony representations consisted of the empty space where a pony had been cut out of the wood.
The choice hit us in the face like a shot of pizza malort. Do negative ponies count as burned pony effigies? On the one hand, each of these negative ponies will burn with the structure, and will cease to exist when the structure burns. This consideration suggests that negative ponies should count towards the total. A math purist might argue that negative ponies should subtract from the total, rather than add to it.
On the other hand: does the space taken up by a negative pony actually burn? If we try to count ponies in negative space we might quickly find an infinite number of possible negative ponies, making counting the number of ponies a fool's errand.
Regardless of your stance on negative ponies, we counted 10 negative ponies on the structure. With the 29 positive ponies, the temple contained at most 39 ponies, significantly fewer than the raw spectacle of 46 ponies burned on Saturday. This high-water mark for this community ritual may eventually be beaten, but not before we're kicked out Monday morning.
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
No
Esteemed journalist, Pulitzer-winning food critic, two-time rock opera composer, and Wonderfuse News Editor-In-Bead, Hiplomat Periwinkle von Beethoven rocked Center Camp with her newest performance set on Friday afternoon.
Days later and PDF participants are still talking about the performance. One such viewer, whose did not ask to remain anonymous but this reporter forgot to write down their name, said that they would love to perform the songs with Hiplomat at a future event. "The songs were beautiful and I've love to sing them with you!" they said.
Hiplomat's set consisted of 12 songs selected from her rock operas for Chill Pills and Apocalypse Bead Feats, the radical gifting games she introduced (with yours truly) at PDF starting in 2022. She performed many of these songs live for the first time at PDF in 2025, and she found the positive reception from this community to be affirming and deeply motivating.
Over the last six months, Anna has taken professional voice lessons to improve her strength and control over her voice. Her performance Friday was a clear demonstration of the effort she has shown, and the dividends it has paid. The only critics our reporters found was from Anna's cat Pamela, who is not a fan of her singing practice and will often go to extreme measures to interfere.
Some members in the audience on Friday were surprised to find an impromptu rock opera performance happening in Center Camp. "We thought this was karaoke and we were wondering why that woman in the fantastic periwinkle outfit was hogging the mic to sing songs no one has heard of."
Wonderfuse News can confirm that both of Hiplomat's rock operas can be found at https://soundcloud.com/hiplomat
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
Megan
In a Wonderfuse News exclusive report, we can confirm that the so-called "chicken phone", a popular piece of kitsch art found at PDF, is utterly nonfunctional.
As we all know and experience on a daily basis, when you hold an authentic phone to your ear, you are immediately enveloped in the clear, comforting, womb-like aural experience of the dial tone. So you can imagine the horror one would experience when raising a phone to their ear and hearing nothing, just the empty void of a silent disinterested universe. I hope the reader never experiences such inhumanity.
And yet this was exactly Megan's experience as she brought the chicken phone to her ear. Though shocked and appalled, she could not sit idle in the face of this travesty. Instead, Megan donned the mantle of whistleblower and reported her findings directly to Wonderfuse News reporters.
Unfortunately, our journalists were not able to uncover any direct indication that the chicken phone was presented as a functional phone to the participants at PDF, thereby setting them up for disappointment or misunderstanding. Instead, Wonderfuse News editorial staff believe that expecting the chicken phone to be tapped into a landline is the obviously delusional fantasy of an aging gen-Xer lost in a fog of nostalgia for simpler times.
Sorry, Megan, if you are so lonely that you haven't had a legitimate reason to pick up a phone in decades. Maybe if you weren't such a stick in the mud you could enjoy the simple pleasures of telecommunication devices shaped as farm animals.
Facts checked by
No.
Photo credit:
Hiplomat
PDF Hosts Elite Game Design
By
Hardhat
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May 24, 2026 at 10:29 p.m.
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Permalink
It is strikingly appropriate that the Pyramid People have such an important and powerful symbol at their heart because visiting them and chatting with Andy Looney and his captivating cohort is much like climbing a pyramid to sit at the feet of The Prophet. An admittedly louder and higher prophet than one might expect, but the analogy resonates.
Mr. Looney (aka Outside Voice), you see, is a game designer extraordinaire. His card game "Fluxx" is a hall of fame game that is brillaint, engaging, hysterical, has almost infinite replayability and, most importantly, just flat out FUN. He is also the force behind "The Pyramid Arcade", a widely varying collection of games all based on, you guessed it, pyramids. Three different sizes and an extended rainbow of colors, with a few accessories here and there, allow for a dizzying variety of game. Some can be learned and played in minutes, others have 13 pages of directions and rules that take hours to master, with everything in between. There is one helluva a lot more - including a LARPish group strategy game nearing completion (which this lucky reporter was able to play in beta at the Burn), the upcoming 49th (!) variation of "Fluxx", and at last one other zany project that I am prohibited of discussing in print.
But here's the thing, and what ties it to Wonderfuse News: Andy has been coming to PDF since 2009 and actually celebrated his 50th Burn at PFD in 2025. There is some mild controversy surrounding that anniversary as it may have been 51, but you can ask him for that story. Come to find out game designers might travel in packs. His amazing partner Kristin (aka Daisy) also contributed a popular game to the Pyramid arcade (while also, as far as I can tell, keeping the Looney train on the tracks) and his friend of 46 years and fellow former NASA engineer John Cooper not only designed the most popular pyramid game "Home Worlds" but currently has a game taking the design world by storm: a cooperative take on Texas Hold 'em poker called "The Gang". Not for nothing, Andy avers that "Home Worlds" is "My favorite game of all time in any media." High praise from a guy destined for the game designers Mt. Rushmore.
So it is really no surprise that a visit to the Pyramid People is a genuine treat. The intersection of big brains, a gamer slant, and a beautiful Burner mentality is a sweet spot not to be missed.
Editors note: Contrary to a rumor that a Wonderfuse reporter was offered a bribe to give a positive review to "The Gang", this reporter received no compensation other than a warm fire, witty repartee and dazzling storytelling.
Facts checked by
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It.
Quotes confirmed by
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It.
Pigs Fly at Camp Zoo
By
Billy Brings It
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May 24, 2026 at 10:29 p.m.
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Permalink
A few new things are happening at Camp Zoo not-the-least of which is a new location--A5 near burnfield. CZoo ran some things up the flagpole and some ideas really took off. Mostly how to find the Zoo. Obviously there is the music. Dumplings and Dubstep. New breakfast offerings. Get your hair braided early Friday or join us for a Disney sing-along. A good landmark was needed to help dusty wanderers find the Zoo. Animals started being referred to as aminals and the Zoo was all ears for new ideas like having Dumbo as a helium kite.
So much was jammed into Camp Zoo last year that the only way to expand was to use the airspace. A flying pig helium kite inspired by the game Roll Pig rolls out 2026 with C.Zoo. Roll Pig will be one of the six animal themed boardgames played at the ZooBar.
Under the kites, Short-attentionspan/Low-Intensity Boardgames can be played with the Zoo Bartenders daytime until we get bored. Hole Camp will like our 'wateringhole.' Other camps are also invited to Inflatable Parade on our dancefloor. Balls Camp said they will inspect our Aminal balloons when dumb pigs fly. And flying Dumbo reminds all Disney-singer-alongers to join us. Camp Zoo is a great place for all field trip theme camps and non-field trip theme theme camps alike to trip-to/dance/bouncy-lounge/funzie around at.
Facts checked by
Snaps and
Weird Al.
Quotes confirmed by
Periwinkle Von Beethoven and
No.
Photo credit:
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It
Fastest Pony in the East!
By
This Entire Bit Is An Overcomplicated Farce, And You Are Complicit In The Degradation Of Our Society By Engaging With It
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May 24, 2026 at 10:28 p.m.
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Permalink
The results are in!
Wheelie Dan (the horse with wheels for legs) has been declared The Fastest Pony In Town, beating out all other equestrian contenders. Wheelie Dan's beaming parent, Captain ACAB, shared that "of course the wheels helped, but what really got my child winning was his cando attitude, I'm just so so proud."
Other horses made a great show, but even the second best was tripping on their own hooves (of which they had entirely too many). It just goes to show that no legs is better than 8.
You might have seen the parade of animals marching around the playa- a salamander, chicken, rooster (King Cock), and most famously two raptors. While seeing those raptors and other creatures further down the evolutionary development chain, you may think they were all part of the Jurassic Tarp camp, when they were actually members of Hole camp. “I was misled and trust was broken; I feel hurt” said a bystander expecting to see more dinosaurs and thinking they were all members of Jurassic Tarp.
We at Wonderfuse News spoke to King Cock himself and he said they never meant to hurt anyone and were “always 100% transparent about the numbers of dinosaurs marching in our parade.” King Cock said they have been in communication with Jurassic Tarp and marched past them during the parade. They [Jurassic Tarp] weren’t able to join because they were “filling holes,” according to a member of Jurassic Tarp. This, of course, refers to their event where they gave out dino nuggets and mac n’ cheese to open mouths.Camp Hole has Jurassic dinosaurs and Camp Jurassic Tarp is filling holes. Roles are switching, as per usual, on playa.
Facts checked by
No.
Quotes confirmed by
No.
Photo credit:
No
Noisemakers at PDF 2026
By
Charlie Ringer
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May 24, 2026 at 6:00 p.m.
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Permalink
Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of sounds around the Playa del Feugo landscape! The noisemakers at this burn have been varied and wild! From the Peen, Vageen and Boobie whistles at Balls by Barb Wire to the Various general clown squeakers and horns, the field is fantastically full of farts to coconuts! Below are some of the noisemakers spotted this year.
This list is extensive and ever growing! Have you seen Whisper's rubber chicken whistle? Or maybe you've been to Camp Dreadful and seen Purple's double horn(pictured). Or maybe you swung by the Baby Thunderdome at Camp Move and Grove and witnessed the anti-noise maker, the obnoxiously quiet baby Banana and Dino made and brought. We also have an anonymous report of renegade horns and if anyone would like to take credit for those renegade horns, please contact this reporter at Wonderfuse.News. Apparently, according to Sweet Pea at Would You Rather, there is a slightly phallic mushroom squeaker with a flesh colored stem and a red cap. They should potentially seek a clinic. There are also completely anonymous roomers (perhaps by the camp themselves, who knows) that Camp Hecklelalia are entirely a camp of noisemakers themselves. If you have ridden on or have driven the mobility scooter, you may have found the honker foot button and T-Bird from Camp Pyramid reported. Coming in hot as of Sunday morning there has been a reported sunrise set buzzkill at 6 AM! Sparxx, from Camp deJour, otherwise known as Damp du Pour, was there to see it as they were told it was time for their noisemakers to shut down. BOOO! Also, thanks, BOD. I saw a lovely Luna host a "Make Your Own Tambourine Stick" at center camp early on Sunday, as well. We always have Camp Tiki bringing the noise, uch to the joy of their performers, campmates and the general playa. Last and certainly not lease are the lovely bunch of coconuts placed at the temple to allow the Playa del Fuego Pony clop clop into your hearts.
Personally, I carry various squeakers, horns and my original noisemaker, my voice, as a way to contribute to the general ambiance of the playa as well as the conclave performance on effigy burn night. To all my deraf readers, I have not forgotten you! I am currently wearing an outfit so loud you know who I am from across the great playa field thanks to neon green and it's companions. If you see me out there in my neon please come say hi! I know y'all keep the bass heavy. I hope you out there make the sounds you wish to hear on the playa. Thanks for reading and please send your additional noisemaker news to be reported on by you own, Charlie Ringer.
